litlover12: (GK1)

My Breaking Dawn review is done. I never, ever, ever, ever, ever have to watch and review another Twilight film.

EVER.

(Taylor Swift's got nothing on me.)

Off to find some champagne!

litlover12: (Darth)
It's not a trailer, but I'd say it's pretty darn snarkable anyway -- so have at it!




ETA: Just found and added another one. They're like potato chips: You can't snark just one.


litlover12: (BA)
We haven't done a good movie trailer snark in a LONG time. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] jenny_wildcat for giving me the idea to start again, with that mainstay of the snarking community: Twilight. Specifically, Breaking Dawn, Part 2: Thank God This Is the Last One.



First thought: Somewhere, Anakin Skywalker is silently thanking Edward Cullen for coming up with a dumber come-on line than "I don't like sand."

Second thought: Bambi! NOOOOOOO!

litlover12: (MST3K3)
Fellow snarkers, I give you the new Breaking Dawn trailer. You're welcome.

litlover12: (MST3K1)
As promised, here are some of the best lines from Dave Barry's Twilight parody, "Fangs of Endearment" (in which "Creepstone" =Forks, "Phil"=Edward, and "Pete"=Charlie):





  • "Heaving a sigh of exasperation, I creaked open the truck door and, with my trademark charming clumsiness, fell out face-first."
  • "Phil swooped me into his arms using the super vampire strength that he has in addition to his super vampire speed and his ability to read minds, perform complex mathematical calculations in his head, assemble a working nuclear submarine entirely from clock parts, and recite all the lyrics to Guys and Dolls backward."
  • "I turned to Phil, but before I could speak I was struck dumb by the perfection of his chiseled cheekbones, and the realization that, of all the girls in the world, I was the one he found irresistibly attractive, as so many males do, although for the life of me I don't see why because as far as I am concerned there is nothing special about me, me, me."
  • ". . . I turned with such haste that in my endearing clumsiness I would have smashed face-first into the large plate-glass main door if Phil had not yanked it off its hinges with one hand and flung it aside, decapitating two freshmen."
  • "Pete is chief of police of Creepstone, but he is not exactly Sherlock Holmes, if you catch my drift. He has so far failed to pick up on the fact that my boyfriend is a vampire who spends every night in my room, and that my other boyfriend is a werewolf, and that Creepstone, not to mention the entire state of Washington, is teeming with violent homicidal supernatural creatures, about 60 percent of whom are trying to kill me personally."
  • "'Wait a minute,' he puzzled. 'I'm not sure whether you're saying yes, or no, or maybe.'
    'I am,' I affirmed.
    'You are what?' he pressed.
    'Yes,' I clarified.
    'What?' he chagrinned."
  • "She bared her teeth, revealing her needle-like fangs, which glinted brightly in the moonlight like some kind of sharp highly reflective things used in a simile."
  • "In the crowd I caught sight of Phil, who had a look of deep horrified concern on his face, and even in that moment, knowing I was definitely going to die in seconds although obviously I didn't because here I am narrating this, I remember thinking how good-looking he was, and wondering how he got his hair to always stay at exactly that level of tousle."
Don't worry, I haven't spoiled the whole thing -- there's plenty more where that came from!
litlover12: (M2)
It's hard to imagine that anything Twilight-related could be as funny as Cleolinda's recaps or the RiffTrax commentaries, but Dave Barry's parody in his new book gives them a real run for their money. (The above post title is a direct quote, and considering the recent "cheeseburger of pain," it couldn't have been more on the mark.) It may just be the funniest thing he's ever written. I think I may have frightened the other motorists last night as I was driving down the highway listening to the audio version and laughing like a crazy woman.

I'll try to pick up a hard copy (is that what you call the non-audio version of a book?) at the library sometime soon so I can post some of the best quotes here. You must not miss this.
litlover12: (GK1)
WHEE!

litlover12: (Default)
Found this story via Bookshelves of Doom: Author Hilary McKay has written a sequel to one of my favorite childhood books, A Little Princess. As usual in these situations, I am simultaneously horrified and intrigued. I don't like the idea of some stranger messing with those wonderful characters, but at the same time I can't help feeling a little curious.

This part, though, unequivocally bugged me:

You introduce several new characters in your novel, including Alice, the feisty, outspoken new maid. She’s quite different from Becky, the maid who leaves to live with Sara.


Yes, she is. I knew that there had to be a maid helping out, and I felt I couldn’t have anyone remotely like Becky.
Well, as Ms. McKay has taken on this task, that's her prerogative. But sometimes I think that we're spoiled in this day and age, you know? We see other ages through our own eyes, and often that leads to tweaking our vision of them so that things are as we would have liked them to be. It's all to the good that we want to write strong, self-reliant female characters for little girls to emulate, especially in the Age of Bella the Bumbling and Brainless -- but sometimes I think we deliberately close our eyes and ears to the truth when we say we simply "can't have" characters who are cowed by their circumstances. Seriously, in the time and place when the story was set, who would be likelier to be working as a maid for a tyrant like Miss Minchin? A "feisty, outspoken" Alice, or a poverty-stricken, timid Becky who didn't dare speak up for herself, for fear of literally starving to death?

I suppose what I would say to Ms. McKay is this: Write Alice the way you need to, but don't blow off the Beckys of the world while you're at it. There were an awful lot of them -- and there still are, all over the world. And their voices shouldn't be drowned out just because they make us uncomfortable.

No kidding

Nov. 13th, 2009 04:12 pm
litlover12: (BA2)
Oprah, in tones of awe: "And Stephenie Meyer had NEVER EVEN WRITTEN A SHORT STORY BEFORE."
litlover12: (BA1)
Mike Nelson: "No interest in his recently confessed murders? Just didn't raise any alarm bells, huh?"

THANK YOU.

Also, I literally laughed till I cried at "Yakety Sax" during Edward and Bella's first dash through the woods.
litlover12: (LD2)
Get yours here
litlover12: (Default)
The Twilight RiffTrax sample is up!





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