'ARE YOU DWARFHOVAH'S WITNESSES?'

[litlover12]

Stop what you're doing and go read this. Seriously. Read it right now. (Unless you prefer to go into The Hobbit competely spoiler-free.)

I'll just be over here dying of laughter.

Comments

[nuranar.livejournal.com]

*giggle* BATDWARF and Captain Horc were my favorites.

[ever-maedhros.livejournal.com]

That was absolutely priceless! Thank you for pointing it out!

BATDWARF!

[mosinging1986.livejournal.com]

I JUST got back from seeing it and that's exactly how it was! LOL!


PS YOU’RE HOTTER THAN MICHAEL FASSBENDER.
SIR IAN MCKELLAN: … I will consider this.

Mwahahaha! I happen to think that old man is quite hot. So there!

CAMERA: *slow pan over pastoral landscape*
MUSIC: *ye old hobbyt medley*
AUDIENCE: This is just a shamelessly cynical attempt to cash in on people’s nostalgia for the beautiful sets and epic feeling of THE LORD OF THE–

Exactly my reaction.


OLD BILBO: And as we all know, people with psychological problems attract dragons.

WHERE'S MINE?!

BILBO: I don’t want to join your dwarf boyband!

LOL!!!

AUDIENCE: D’awww, little zombie hedgehog! Most cutest zombie in the world!

I KNOW! I loved him!

GANDALF: Take a hit off my pipe, Radagast. Yeah, these movies make a LOT more sense when you know I’m high literally the whole time, don’t they?

THAT'S what I should've done!

AUDIENCE: So basically that’s how Saruman slipped under the radar the whole time. We assumed it was devilish cunning, but actually Saruman was yapping ‘Blah, blah, blah, I’m obviously evil, blerderder’ and Gandalf and Galadriel were too busy playing telepathic footsie to notice?

MWAHAHAHA! Glad I'm not the only one who found that whole thing quite flirty! Not that there's anything wrong with that...

GALADRIEL: Oh Gandalf, you are such a maverick.
GANDALF: You know it, babe.

THAT'S RIGHT!


AUDIENCE: But why are we having a quest at all if there are giant magical bir–

I'VE BEEN ASKING MYSELF THAT FOR FOUR MOVIES NOW!

***

And I want me a rabbit-pulled sled!

Re: BATDWARF!

[litlover12.livejournal.com]

I'm seeing it Friday night. It's going to be really hard now not to giggle in all the wrong places!

Re: BATDWARF!

[mosinging1986.livejournal.com]

Snork! Aw, you should've waited to read this, then. Now you've ruined it! *g*

[impulsereader.livejournal.com]

I don’t want to join your dwarf boyband!

Epic. :-)

[sylverwind.livejournal.com]

Bookmarking this so I can read it after I see the movie! :D